Looking for a light conversation to have over potluck with friends? Let’s go down the existential crisis rabbit hole and bring up death. That’s right, dying. No one likes to talk about it, but it’s something none of us can avoid. But let’s not just contemple the end of our existence, let’s talk about planning for it while we’re at it. According to Gallup, less than 50% of Americans polled have a will that describes how they want their belongings to be handled once they pass into the unknown. I hate to be the one to break it to you, but not having a will doesn’t prevent the Grim Reaper from scratching on your front door with his scythe, and (spoiler alert) more than 50% of Americans need a will. Do I need a will? How do I know? I’ve got you covered. Below, we touch on what a will is, who needs a will, and how to get one put in place.
What is a will?
If you want to get technical, a will is a last will and testament, but we’ll stick with “will” because I have zero interest in a law degree.
A will is a legally binding document that states what you want to happen with your assets after you die. In general, your will dictates how your money, property, and other possessions are distributed and to whom. It can state that you want 50% of everything to go to your first-born child and 50% to go to your second-born child. (Hopefully in this situation you only have two, but it’s completely up to you what you do, no one is owed anything!) It can also state you want your first-born to get your primary residence while your second-born gets the beach house. It doesn’t have to be an equal division of assets.
Along with your physical assets, a will can also direct who you would like to be named guardian for your first and second-born children, or however many you may have. It can also direct what you want down with intangible assets, such as your social media accounts.
The different parts of a will
I don’t want to get deep into the legal mumble jumble here, but there are a few key parts of a will we’d like to touch upon:
- Appointing an executor: In your will, you state who you would like to be the executor of your will. This is the person in charge of making sure your wishes are carried out as outlined in the will. Your executor manages paying off any debt, liquidating/distributing assets, and handling necessary associated paperwork.
- Appointing a guardian: If you have minor children (usually under 18 years of age), you can appoint a guardian in your will. This states who will be in charge of caring for and raising your children after your passing until they reach adulthood.
- Distribution of assets: This directs who will inherit (your beneficiary or beneficiaries) your assets (basically everything of worth you own) and how. This can include your retirement investments, your home, your car, collectibles, and more. You can have specific items called out to certain people that aren’t your primary beneficiary.
- Funeral and burial instructions (optional): If you know you want to be cremated, or if you’ve already bought a burial plot to ensure you and your spouse are buried next to each other, you can leave instructions on how to handle those arrangements here.
A note on mirror wills
If you are married, the executor of your will, the guardian for your children, and the beneficiary of your assets are all usually your spouse. They will typically have a will that mirrors yours, listing everything the same, but naming you instead. With a mirror will, it’s especially important to have backups chosen (for executor, guardian, etc.) in case something happens to you both at the same time. Then just make sure you, your spouse, and your backup don’t all go on Oceanic Flight 815 together.
A note of power of attorneys
While financial and health powers of attorney (POAs) are not part of your actual will, you typically want to have these documents drawn up at the same time as your will, as they dictate who, along with your executor, has a voice in how your affairs are handled, with a key difference. Your power of attorney can handle things for you if you’re alive but unable to make decisions or act for yourself, while the executor handles your affairs after you pass.
Why is it important to have a will?
As someone who has seen what feels like more than my fair share of death, I’ve witnessed firsthand the importance of having a will, as well as complications of not having one. A will can give you peace of mind that your wishes will be seen to after your death.
Let’s look at a specific example here. My husband has an old school jukebox that he inherited from his grandmother.
It was his grandmother’s wish that he inherit this jukebox, which we knew because his grandfather handled getting it to my husband. This jukebox thus has a high sentimental value. While I understand and appreciate that value, it doesn’t hold that same level of meaning to me. So clearly, we wouldn’t want someone in my family to end up with this jukebox. It should go to someone in his family.
He knows this, I know this, and now you know this. But how will our beneficiaries know if we don’t tell them? And how will we make sure it gets to them, if we don’t put it in our wills?
We have a similar situation on my side, as I inherited a bedroom set from my grandfather that has been in the family since before the Civil War. I, however, inherited the set as a child and had been using it for years until my grandfather pulled me aside one day and gave me a letter that explained its history. He also told me why I inherited it and how he hoped its legacy would continue. This bedroom set is supposed to be passed down to the next female heir of his bloodline.
He knows this, I know this, and you now know this, but again: how will we make sure we fulfill his legacy?
Having a will provides clarity to those left behind in the wake of our death, and clarity is kindness when you are dealing with the emotional rollercoaster that is grief. Our wills call out these specific items and state which family members they should be passed down to, so that the executor of our will–who is on my husband’s side of the family–knows where my bedroom set goes, and so that our backup executor–who is on my side of the family–knows where the jukebox goes.
The importance of wills and guardianship
In our will, we also clearly state who will be reasonable for The Budget Beagle if we both pass. It was astonishing how many people threw their hats into the ring for this honor. Bucky is very well loved.
Given the number of offers we had, it would be a mess to muddle through if we didn’t pick someone and make those wishes known. So our will clearly states who will assume responsibility for our animals in the event of our passing.
Not that we don’t love Bucky with all our hearts, but this is just our dog. Now imagine we’re talking about children. If you don’t appoint a guardian for your kids in your will, you’re leaving it up to the state to decide who takes care of them. They can’t even handle your tax dollars efficiently. Do you really trust them with your kids?
The importance of discussing your will and wishes
Not only is it important to be clear in your will of what you’d like, but it’s important to have this conversation with the people involved before you die. Your powers of attorney should know they are your POAs. They need to know where all your legal documents are so they can prove it. And they need to not only know your wishes, but be comfortable carrying them out for you. Likewise, you should check with your named guardians to make sure they can handle the responsibility of raising your kids.
It’s an awkward conversation. We know it is. But have it. It’s a blessing for everyone involved. Grab a bottle of your favorite wine, beer, or whiskey, take a few sips, and either pick up the phone or sit down to discuss your wishes and plans. Ask pointblank if they’re comfortable with the responsibility. If not, go back to the drawing board and don’t take it personally. It’s a lot to ask. With great power comes great responsibility, and not everyone is meant to be bitten by a radioactive spider and scale skyscrapers. Some of us are afraid of heights.
So who actually needs a will?
If you’re asking, the answer is likely you! Instead of laying out who needs a will, it’s easier to point out who doesn’t need a will, as it’s a much shorter list. You likely don’t need a will if you’re single without kids and you don’t have any assets or wealth built up yet. So generally, kids don’t need wills. But if you have anyone in your life who loves you, it would probably benefit you and them to have a will.
My best friend died in his 20s. He was single, he didn’t have any kids, and he was renting an apartment, so he didn’t have a home. While on paper, it might seem like he’s a candidate for not needing a will, it would have helped his family as he owned a car and had money saved up. In order for his family to take possession of the car and sell it, they had to go to court. Since they didn’t have any legal paperwork stating they were in charge of handling his affairs as his executor, you can imagine it was a headache. Dealing with all this government bureaucracy on top of a sudden loss is something I know he wouldn’t have intentionally meant to leave for his family. A will could have helped make this unbearable loss a little easier to navigate.
To make it clear, though, reasons you might need a will and should really (please, please, please) get one in place include:
- You have children
- You own property
- You have savings and/or investments
- You have sentimental belongings you hope to pass down
- You’re in a long-term relationship
Situations a will can help you navigate include:
- Avoiding family drama: no, crazy cousin Earl does not get a penny off me, not after the cow pasture incident of 2015, thank you very much.
- Supporting a cause you care about and leaving a legacy: since we don’t have children, we leave a lot of our assets to a science center to help educate and inspire a love of STEM. Yes, we’re nerds. This particular institution is one we’ve both personally been involved with and that holds a special place in my heart after trips there as a kid with my grandfather. This is the legacy we hope to leave behind.
When should you get a will?
The sooner the better, friends. It’s never too early to have that peace of mind that the future is planned for. A standard will is relatively inexpensive and doesn’t take long to get executed.
When do I need to update my will?
Wills are state specific, so you’ll need to update your will whenever you move across state lines. In addition, major life events can cause changes in your will and require revisions. These include:
- Getting married
- The birth of a child
- Adopting a child
- Inheriting family heirlooms
- Obtaining other collectibles
- Buying a home
How do I make a will if I need one?
You have a few options to write a will, depending on the complexity of your situation.
The fastest and cheapest is to use an online will website, such as Mama Bear Legal Forms. We set up our wills in our 20s and haven’t had that much change since then, so this has been what we’ve personally done.
A more extensive and thus expensive option is to hire an estate planning attorney. If you have a complex financial situation, such as real estate investing or a business you own and manage, or a significant net worth, you may want to have both a will and a trust. Trusts are much more involved, so an estate planning attorney can help you put together both.
If you go the DIY route, we’ve put together a DIY estate planning binder blueprint to help you organize all your important documents.
The final word
If you’re reading this, you likely need a will. It’s a foundational step in estate planning and is one of the simplest ways to help your loved ones navigate the black hole that is life without you. While we think you need a will and sooner rather than later, don’t rush the decisions on who handles your arrangements. It’s a big ask, so sleep on it and talk it out with your significant other if you have one to make sure you’re in arrangement. You probably don’t want to create a nightmare situation after your passing (or maybe you love those inheritance games movies and books and want to recreate your own version, in which case good on you, but you’ll probably need a trust to put that in motion). Make sure once you’ve formulated your plan, you discuss it before getting everything signed and make it legally binding.